This Monday at the Knockout
December 2, 2007
Way up in the rural New Hampshire town of Alton, miles from any state highway that carry vacationers to the nearby lakes and ski areas, are the workshops of Smile Laboratories. There’s no sign on the highway alerting you to its presence, and the vast building complex is set back too far to be seen from the road. If you do somehow manage to beat the odds and find the place, it’s likely that you’ll never forget the experience. You’ll be greeted at the door by our attractive receptionist, the ever ebullient LaShaundra, who will be only too happy to give you a tour of the grounds. She will explain all that it takes to put on Smile, and will answer any questions you might have. Fresh pastries and coffee are on the house, as well as a lavishly printed map of the grounds.
It is here that all the music you hear at Smile is invented by the most experienced and adept people in the field. All the bands that play at Smile are designed and fabricated here as well, and are shipped to San Francisco where they can perform for your enjoyment. The dj/host Neil is constantly being refined, repaired, and periodically replaced, so as to better serve your needs.
How far ahead does the work stretch? LaShaundra picks up a yellow legal pad, and runs her finger down the list of projects: “Honey, this is a complete restoration here, this band’s just come out of the chicken coop. Honest to god, these kids required several recalls and we been working round the clock for weeks … We ended up having to do the whole thing over, but I think we got it right!”
No doubt, she is referring to Monday night’s headliners, the amazing Brian Glaze and the Night Shift. The lifelike features and fully movable parts on each figure are a sight to behold! When you hear the music they play, you’ll be in no doubt that you’re in the hands of true professionals. Other projects have had to wait their turn, in order that this one could be perfected, but the technicians and engineers at Smile are really on the ball. Just take a look around the shop!
Over there, we have the prototype of Fun Machine, side project of Angelina Moysov, lovely vocalist and keyboard player of the critically acclaimed Persephone’s Bees. Ready just in time to appear second on the bill Monday night, fresh out of the plastic wrapping and glistening serenely in the moonlight: a row of identical replicas, each one as beautiful and luscious as the next. You don’t really think her busy schedule allows her to singlehandedly pull off such a startling solo act, do you? The costume changes alone require several separate units! All in a day’s work at the Smile Labs…
Starting off the show will be our latest creation, The Trade. As delightful a group of young men as we’ve ever assembled, I think you’ll enjoy their program of songs. LaChaundra explains with a wry smile: “They were supposed to appear at an earlier date, but the thing was jammed sideways in a box van, and we were doing work on one of the other bands when the time came to ship them off. But after a few minor adjustments, they are better than new!”
http://www.myspace.com/oaklandtrade
The people at Smile Labs have a straightforward approach to their work. “We try to do it the way we’ve always done it,” LaChaundra explains. “Look at the way we do something, and invariably it’s the most efficient way–we’re in the business to make money. And, simply stated, Smile is the best. We have no competition.”
How do they choose the program of music that plays between and after the bands? “They’re just cool songs,” LaChaundra asserts. “When we started working on them in the Sixties and Seventies, you’d listen to them and think, man, these tunes are kind of awful. But they grow on you, they’ve really got some nice melodies, and they’re really well-produced for the time.” The dj/host Neil is programmed to keep an eye on the crowd and see what people are responding to. They’ve even set him up for a few flubs for that extra touch of realism!
So, next time you’re planning a vacation, look into Alton, New Hampshire, and seek out the Smile Laboratories. In the meantime, just jump on the Muni bus and head over to the Knockout — this Monday, December 3, around 9:30pm. It’s at 3223 Mission near 29th Street. The gears are waiting for you to set them in motion!
Words by DJ Neil
